I was like. Really?

on Oct 28 in Frivolity, Random, Writing tagged by Peter Blackman

It’s outrageous. Everyone is outraged. Walk down any busy street in the UK today and you will pass someone on their mobile phone telling an outrageous story to someone. They’ll be recounting some terrible incident or awful argument that they have had recently with a friend / relative / work colleague.

It’ll go something like ‘and I was like’

‘and they were like’

‘and I was like’

Now what strikes me about these Jeremy Kyle style exchanges (when I hear them through physical proximity on the street or in a cafe for example) is how amazingly blunt and confrontational we all seem to be. Or at least, the conversations and interactions as recounted are. Which is odd really. For when I look at the people not on their phones; those sat talking, or walking along together, most of them are enjoying each others company. Whether they are laughing at a joke, or wrapped up in a serious discussion, there is a general air of politeness and equanimity.

But on the phone, in the recounting of these polite encounters, our memories seem to play tricks on us. In his book, ‘Born Liars’, an old work colleague of mine, Ian Leslie describes it as ‘Remembering…is an act of creative reconstruction.’

Here’s an excerpt from a good synopsis of Ian’s book, which is excellent and well worth buying and reading, especially if you work, like I do, in the marketing / advertising business:

“Our attitudes to lying are confused and contradictory - you might even say, self-deceiving. On the one hand we hate lies, and liars. On the other, we all indulge in fibs, tall tales and fantasies. If lying is wrong, why do we all do it - both to others, and to ourselves? In Born Liars, Ian Leslie argues that, far from being a bug in the human software, lying is central to who we are; that we cannot understand ourselves without first understanding the dynamics of deceit. Born Liars takes us on a fascinating journey which makes us question not only our own relationship to the truth, but also virtually every daily encounter we have.”

Not being as thorough and erudite a writer as Ian, I thought I’d just add a little playful comment for a Friday. Which is this - the modern predeliction for prefacing our memories with ‘and I was like / he was like’ Is it, as the Urban Dictionary would define it “Obnoxious people use this phrase after they have recited an anecdote about their petty tribulations. This is to compensate for their complete absence of wit or original insight into anything.”

Or is it also an unconscious linguistic acknowledgement that what they are saying to you is an approximation of what actually happened? Or to take that further, is it a fabrication? A lie? That they know, really, that the real exchange was ‘like’ the tale that they are telling, but isn’t really what happened at all.

And I was like, that’s my view, i’ve put it in a blog post and everything.

And everyone else was like, whatever.

And I was like, you’re really disrespecting me with your indifference.

And they were like, again, whatever.

Whatever.