Living the dream

on Mar 11 in Culture, Writing tagged by Peter Blackman

Paul is tall, dark and handsome. He’s also good fun, and this winning combination of personal qualities means that he is an excellent guest to have at a party. Just don’t get on the wrong side of him. Not because he has a terrible temper, but because his hearing in one ear is atrocious, and he won’t be able to hear what you say. When this happens Paul goes into smile and nod mode. Which is what he was doing the other night when a South African medical parts salesman was talking to him over a glass of fizz and a vol-au-vent.

The medical salesman, who had a loud voice anyway, realised that Paul could not hear him over the party hubbub. So he spoke up. Which meant that he told us all, in the firm, strident manner common to a lot of Afrikaners, that….

“I’m fed up of talking about living the dream. I want to live the dream right now.”

Even though Paul could now hear him loud and very clear, he still simply smiled and nodded. After all, what do you say in response to a statement that presupposes you know what his dream might be? Now if he’d said ‘my’ dream, or ‘a’ dream, Paul could have smiled, nodded, and asked what that dream life might be? A world where South Africa won the rugby world cup every four years and people were in constant and urgent need of false limbs, glass eyes, and other medical supplies perhaps?

But no, it was ‘the’ dream. The Definite grammatical article that implies necessarily that an entity it articulates is presupposed; something already mentioned, or completely specified later in that same sentence, or assumed already completely specified (thanks wikipedia).

Yet despite this error in usage and the consequent absence of genuine meaning, ‘Living the Dream’  is everywhere. It’s promise of a lifestyle nirvana confronts us wherever we turn. Just a short walk from my house, I am met by an outdoor retailer called Kathmandu who promise me that if I buy clothing or equipment from them, that I will be, you guessed it, ‘living the dream’.

Heavens above, they appear to have trademarked the phrase. That’s a commitment to the dream. A quick visit to their website then tells me that “For us the dream is individually defined….Whatever the dream, it’s about getting out there and having fun – however you define it.”

This makes no sense. Lets add another letter in, go one further and say it’s nonsense. So the dream is ‘individually defined’, but it must be about ‘getting out there’. Well some of my dreams are about the bliss of ’staying in here’, and seeing as you say that I can ‘individually define’ them myself, I therefore refute your assertion regarding my dreams. He said primly.

Moving on, if I just stumble along the road a little bit, I can come across another brand which tells me that ‘Living the Dream’ is indeed all about staying in.

So, according to Terry Olpin and Kingsley Thomas (and who am I to argue with men with such fabulous names?), ‘living the dream’ consists of drinking in my rented, shared accommodation.

Is this what the South African meant? Did he want to go backpacking? Or was he fed up with not being able to enjoy good time group binge drinking on the sun terrace? Or maybe he wanted to get down to Marks & Spencer and buy some Lewis Hamilton ‘Living the Dream’ branded merchandise? No, really….

Click on the link here, and you’ll discover that “For the first time ever, the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes Formula 1 team has partnered with a leading British retailer to create a dynamic kidswear range intended specifically for the high street. It has been inspired by the cutting-edge design and technology used by the Formula 1 team and the personalised logos and identities of the team’s two drivers, British world champion Lewis Hamilton and Finland’s Heikki Kovalainen.”

Right, so now ‘the dream’ that I should be living is bound up in the personalised logos and identities of two people who may be good at driving, but whose idea of a dream might be completely different to mine.

FFS.

Hello! Brands and their agencies - can we all take a step back and stop using empty, meaningless phrases? Or go even further, and stop using the same empty, meaningless phrases? It’s not hard. Really it isn’t. Doesn’t the consumer deserve better than to have you all saying exactly the same thing? I mean, why don’t we all use the phrase ‘living the dream’? Here’s how Smirnoff Ice could do it. Or Jacuzzi.

I started this article before going to a meeting. I’m now back. In the meeting the client said ‘Charlie Sheen - he’s living the dream isn’t he?’

I think that’s what he’s going to get in his creative work next week. A picture of Mr Sheen. Plus a headline of ‘Living the Dream’. Why fight it? It’s what everyone else is doing, and it seems to be #winning for them.